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Death rituals around the world
In the United States, we are familiar with how life and death are mourned or celebrated. In other cultures and countries, there are many different approaches to memorializing the dead. Funeral practices are deeply ingrained in culture and around the globe, and varied traditions reflect a plethora of beliefs and values. Here, we look at a few of funeral traditions that are unique from around the world.
Mongolia
A common practice in Mongolia is what is known as a sky burial. This is when the bodies of the dead are put in coffins and left to hang off the side of a cliff, exposing them to the elements and wild animals. This kind of burial is based on the ideals of Vajrayana Buddhists, who find it needless to pay respects to the body after death. However, there are also those who do bury the deceased underground as common in Western culture. The casket is covered in red and black, the colors of mourning, milk, and rice are sprinkled on top if it.
Ecological Burials - Around the World
It has become more common for people in the modern day to think more eco-friendly about burials. This kind of burial emphasizes a quick decay. One known way to do this is by tree burials, which can vary, but generally, a biodegradable urn is planted with a seed before being buried into the ground.
Iran
Iran’s ritual is a longer process than many other cultures and is shaped by the Islamic faith. The body of the deceased must be buried within 24 hours of dying. The body is washed nine times, wrapped in a white cover, and then tied in it with cords. It is considered holy to help carry or touch the coffin, so there is usually a large procession surrounding the coffin. The body is then buried facing Mecca, the most sacred city, while mourners read passages of the Qu’ran. Starting on this day, mourners are required to wear black until the fortieth day. On the third day after the burial, there is a memorial service held that includes flower arrangements, halvah (treat made of sesame seeds and flour), and rose water sprinkled everywhere. On the seventh day after the burial, mourners visit the grave and give food to the poor. On the 40th day after the burial, a gravestone is put on the grave and mourners are allowed to wear regular clothes again. However, the wife of the deceased continues to wear black for one full year.
South Korea
Over the years South Korea has become limited to the amount of burial space they have. In 2000, a law was created, so the deceased had to be removed sixty years after being buried. Since then, many have resorted to cremation, but not like how it’s done here in the U.S. Once the body is cremated, it is pressed into beads of all colors. These aren’t worn, but they are put into urns or glass jars.
Ghana
In Ghana, the deceased are believed to be very powerful and play roles in the lives of the living. The families of the deceased go to great lengths to show their respect, and one way to do so is by “fantasy” coffins. These coffins are highly decorated and different shapes, ranging from cars to animals and everything in between. The coffins represent either a favorite hobby or the profession of the deceased. Those that use these kinds of caskets believe that the afterlife is similar to life on Earth, so the coffin itself serves as a vessel that allows the deceased to continue what they love after death.
How to Write a Eulogy: A Guide to Honoring a Loved One Writing a eulogy can be one of the most meaningful yet challenging tasks you may ever undertake. It’s an opportunity to honor and celebrate the life of someone you loved while offering comfort to those who are grieving. If you’ve been asked to deliver a eulogy, here’s a step-by-step guide to help you craft a heartfelt tribute. Understand the Purpose A eulogy serves multiple purposes: To celebrate a life: Highlight the unique qualities, achievements, and memories of the deceased. To offer comfort: Provide a sense of connection and shared grief to those in attendance. To create a lasting tribute: Leave the audience with a positive and loving memory of the person. Keep these goals in mind as you structure your speech. Gather Memories and Stories Start by reflecting on your own memories and reaching out to others who knew the deceased. Ask friends, family, and colleagues for stories or anecdotes that capture their essence. Consider: Their passions, hobbies, or interests. Memorable traits, like their kindness, humor, or resilience. Milestones or significant accomplishments. Organize these notes into themes or categories that highlight the person’s character and life. Choose a Structure A clear structure will help you stay organized and focused. Here’s a simple framework to follow: Introduction: Begin by introducing yourself and explaining your connection to the deceased. Share a brief overview of their life. Body: Share 2-4 stories or themes that illustrate their personality, values, and impact on others. Include a mix of lighthearted moments and heartfelt reflections. Conclusion: End with a message of gratitude, a closing thought, or a meaningful quote or poem. Offer comfort and hope to those grieving. Write with Authenticity A eulogy doesn’t need to be perfect; it needs to be genuine. Write as if you’re speaking directly to the audience. Use your own voice and avoid trying to sound overly formal or poetic if that’s not your natural style. If the deceased had a sense of humor, feel free to include light, appropriate humor—laughter can be healing. At the same time, maintain a tone of respect and sensitivity. Keep It Concise A eulogy typically lasts 5-10 minutes. Aim for about 750-1,000 words. Brevity ensures that your message is impactful and keeps the audience engaged. Practice and Prepare Once you’ve written your eulogy, practice reading it aloud. This will help you: Become comfortable with the flow of your words. Identify areas that might need adjustment for clarity or timing. Manage your emotions during delivery. Consider printing your speech or using note cards to stay on track. Deliver with Poise On the day of the funeral or memorial service: Take your time: Pause to breathe and compose yourself if emotions arise. Speak clearly: Project your voice so everyone can hear you. Connect with the audience: Make eye contact and share your emotions honestly. Remember, your audience is there to honor the deceased with you—they will appreciate your effort and sincerity.
The holiday season, with its sparkling lights, festive music, and endless gatherings, can feel overwhelming when you're grieving the loss of a loved one. While others may be celebrating, you might find yourself wrestling with emotions that make the season feel less joyful and more like a reminder of your loss. It’s okay to feel this way. Grief doesn’t have a timetable, and the holidays can amplify the ache of absence. However, with intentionality and self-compassion, you can navigate this time of year in a way that honors your feelings and your loved one’s memory. Acknowledge Your Feelings Grief doesn’t follow a straight path. Some days might feel manageable, while others bring tears when you least expect it. Give yourself permission to feel whatever arises—sadness, anger, guilt, or even moments of joy. Suppressing emotions to meet holiday expectations only adds to the weight of your loss. A simple step like journaling your thoughts or confiding in a trusted friend can help you process these emotions. Set Boundaries The holiday calendar can quickly fill up with parties, family gatherings, and other events. It’s okay to say no. If an invitation feels overwhelming, let others know you need time for yourself. Your emotional well-being comes first, and true friends and family will understand your need for space. Honor Your Loved One’s Memory Creating a tradition that keeps your loved one’s spirit alive can bring comfort and connection. This could be lighting a candle in their honor, cooking their favorite dish, or making a donation in their name. Sharing memories with family and friends can transform grief into a sense of togetherness and love. Simplify the Holidays If the thought of decorating, shopping, or hosting feels like too much, simplify. Focus on the aspects of the holiday that bring you peace. Maybe that means watching a favorite movie, enjoying a quiet evening with loved ones, or skipping the usual traditions altogether. Redefining the season on your own terms can help alleviate pressure. Lean on Your Support System You don’t have to navigate this season alone. Reach out to those who care about you, whether it’s friends, family, or a grief support group. Even a simple phone call or coffee date can provide a sense of connection and remind you that you’re not alone in this journey. Practice Self-Compassion Be kind to yourself. Grief is hard work, and the holiday season can magnify its challenges. Allow yourself moments of rest and reflection. If you find joy creeping in—whether it’s a shared laugh or a heartfelt memory—embrace it without guilt. Your loved one wouldn’t want you to carry the burden of sadness alone. Seek Professional Help if Needed Sometimes grief can feel too heavy to carry on your own. There’s no shame in seeking help from a counselor or therapist, especially during emotionally charged times like the holidays. They can offer coping strategies and a safe space to express your feelings. Getting through the holidays after losing a loved one is no easy task, but it is possible. By honoring your emotions, setting boundaries, and embracing the memory of your loved one, you can find a way to navigate the season. This time of year may look different than it once did, but it can still hold moments of meaning and comfort. You are not alone, and it’s okay to create a holiday season that works for you. Take it one day at a time, and know that the love you shared with your loved one remains with you, always.
Thanksgiving can be challenging when you’re grieving. A holiday centered on gratitude, family gatherings, and celebration can seem daunting when someone close to you is no longer there. The traditions that used to bring warmth might now feel empty, and feelings of sadness, anger, or confusion may overshadow gratitude. But in times of loss, Thanksgiving can also offer a unique opportunity to remember, honor, and slowly begin healing. Here are some gentle ways to approach Thanksgiving after losing a loved one, allowing space for both grief and gratitude. 1. Acknowledge Your Feelings It’s okay if you’re not feeling grateful or festive this Thanksgiving. Loss can bring waves of complex emotions, and it’s essential to honor these feelings without judgment. Grief isn’t linear; it shows up in unexpected ways and doesn’t always align with holiday expectations. Allow yourself to feel however you need to, whether it’s sadness, anger, or even numbness. Give yourself permission to experience Thanksgiving differently this year. 2. Create Space for Remembrance Thanksgiving can be a beautiful opportunity to honor your loved one’s memory. Consider setting a place at the table for them, lighting a candle, or making their favorite dish. Invite others to share stories about your loved one, reflecting on the joy they brought to your lives. By creating space for their memory, you’re not only honoring them but also integrating their presence into your traditions. 3. Embrace New Traditions After a loss, it can be painful to follow the same rituals and traditions. Instead, try exploring new traditions that feel right for you. Maybe this Thanksgiving, you decide to spend time in nature, volunteer at a shelter, or have a smaller, quieter meal with close friends or family. New traditions don’t erase the old ones—they’re ways to adapt to your current emotional landscape and honor your needs during this time. 4. Connect with Others Who Understand Grieving can often feel isolating, especially during a holiday centered around togetherness. If you have friends or family who are also experiencing loss, reach out and connect with them. If that’s not possible, consider looking into local support groups or online communities where people share similar experiences. Knowing you’re not alone in your grief can be comforting, and the shared understanding can bring a sense of community that’s especially healing during the holidays. 5. Focus on Small Moments of Gratitude Gratitude may feel difficult or even impossible to access when grieving, but it doesn’t have to be about grand gestures or feelings. Instead, focus on small, quiet moments that offer peace or comfort, such as a beautiful sunset, the warmth of a cozy blanket, or a kind word from a friend. These small things can provide a gentle reminder that joy can still coexist with sorrow. 6. Give Yourself Permission to Skip or Scale Back the Celebration You might feel pressured to put on a brave face or participate fully in Thanksgiving traditions, but it’s okay if that’s not where you’re at this year. Give yourself permission to set boundaries and skip or scale back on what feels overwhelming. Grief doesn’t follow a holiday schedule, and it’s okay to take a step back to care for yourself. Loved ones will understand if you need a little more space or choose to spend the holiday differently. If Thanksgiving feels especially hard this year, remember you’re not alone. Grief is a testament to love, and by finding ways to celebrate, you’re honoring the love that still lives on within you. May this Thanksgiving bring you moments of comfort, the warmth of cherished memories, and the quiet understanding that healing is a journey you don’t have to walk alone.
Grief is a universal experience, yet each person’s journey through it is unique. Whether we’re grieving the loss of a loved one, a significant life change, or even the end of a cherished relationship, the support we receive can make a crucial difference in how we heal and move forward. Various types of grief support offer different benefits and understanding what’s available is the first step to finding what works best for you. Here’s an overview of different types of grief support and tips on finding local resources. Individual Therapy What It Is: Individual therapy, usually with a licensed therapist or counselor, is a one-on-one experience tailored to your personal grief journey. Therapists help you process feelings, manage symptoms of depression or anxiety, and develop coping strategies for day-to-day life. Benefits: This support is highly personalized and can adapt over time to meet your evolving needs. Many therapists specialize in grief counseling and can offer specialized techniques like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which helps reframe negative thoughts, or grief-specific techniques to process loss. How to Find It Locally: Search online directories like Psychology Today or TherapyDen, which allow you to filter by specialty and location. Your primary care doctor or local hospital may also provide referrals to grief therapists nearby. Support Groups What They Are: Grief support groups are gatherings of people who are all dealing with loss. They’re typically led by a counselor or trained facilitator and offer a safe space to share experiences, give and receive support, and learn coping strategies. Benefits: These groups help to reduce feelings of isolation and allow for mutual support among participants. Many find comfort in being able to relate to others who truly understand their loss, creating a strong sense of community. How to Find It Locally: Local community centers, hospitals, or religious organizations often host grief support groups. You can also find directories through organizations like GriefShare, which lists groups worldwide, or through the National Alliance for Grieving Children if you’re seeking support for younger family members. Online Grief Support Communities What They Are: Online support communities provide 24/7 access to support networks through forums, chat rooms, and video groups. These platforms can range from general grief support forums to specialized groups focusing on specific types of loss (e.g., losing a spouse, child, or dealing with prolonged illness). Benefits: Online support is ideal for those who may not have access to local resources, have difficulty with transportation, or prefer anonymity. You can also access support anytime, making it a flexible option. How to Find It Locally: Even if your group is online, joining a local group can be helpful for occasional in-person meetups. Websites like Grief In Common or The Compassionate Friends offer both online and local chapters, making it easy to connect with people nearby. Books and Self-Help Resources What They Are: Books, workbooks, and online courses can provide self-directed support for those who prefer to work through their grief independently. Many of these resources provide exercises, coping strategies, and stories from others who have navigated grief. Benefits: Self-help resources offer flexibility and privacy. They can be particularly useful for people who are beginning to explore grief or want supplementary support alongside other therapies or group work. How to Find It Locally: Libraries, bookstores, and online platforms like Audible or Kindle Unlimited offer a range of grief-related materials. Many therapists or grief organizations provide recommendations, or you can check popular titles like On Grief and Grieving by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross for trusted insights. The journey through grief doesn’t have to be walked alone. Finding the right type of support and connecting with resources can provide essential comfort, perspective, and healing. Whether you seek the company of others, prefer a one-on-one approach, or are drawn to creative expression, there is support out there to help you through. Don’t hesitate to reach out—healing is within reach.
